Here are handpicked vampire jokes to have a fun time making everyone laugh out loud around you.
Moreover, these vampire jokes include dnd, dirty, clean names, and one liners to use this Halloween.
Happy Halloween…!!!
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Dirty Vampire Jokes
Baby, you’re so beautiful, I’d take 1,000 bites just to get one kiss from you.
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Hey big boy, I bet you can stay up all night.
Are those fangs or are you just happy to see me?
Are you a ghost? Because you’ve been haunting my dreams.
How would you like to be immortal for just one night?
I love a girl with brains, but not in the zombie way.
If I said you have a beautiful corpse, would you hold it against me?
Is it true what they say about lady vampires? That they really know how to suck?
If your b**bs were a blood type it would be double A’s.
It’s almost midnight. I can’t wait to see what you turn into.
If you’re a vampire: I want to suck your blood. But I won’t. Edward and Bella made it work. Sorta.
Is there anything human left in you? Would you like some?
Something’s wrong with my teeth. They keep thinking about your neck.
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Is there room for two in your coffin?
One hour with me and you’ll be seeing THREE reflections in a mirror.
They say my blood is the sweetest. Wanna find out how the rest me tastes?
That’s a nice looking cape. It would look even nicer on the floor at the foot of my bed.
It’s almost midnight. I can’t wait to see what you turn into.
Vampire Jokes One Liners
I suck fruit loops bigger than you for breakfast!
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Don’t get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
One thing you won’t catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
Can you check under the coffin for Fox anchors, I’m scared of nazis.
Vampires tend to drink Blood Light, but only from a longneck bottle.
Why don’t mosquitoes bite vampires? As a professional courtesy.
Can I interest you in another cup of T vicar?
Vampires are always looking for their necks victim.
Vampire Jokes For Adults
Your life would suck without me… oh wait it will suck with me.
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You’re so sexy, you make me want to whip something out — and it’s not a crucifix.
You’re so beautiful I think my heart just stopped. Wow it really did!
Will you turn into a bat for me? A long, hard one?
You sound English. I can show you a bloody good time.
What cocktail a vampire likes the most? A Bloody Mary.
Is that bloodlust I’m sensing — or just lust?
I have met a vampire face to face who became a novelist
Hey girl! Wanna go out for a bite.
I can make your heart beat again.
Short Vampire Jokes
I have an account at the blood bank.
You look dead sexy. Literally.
M a pain in the neck.
So long, sucker.
It’s in my blood.
You make me batty.
If I was a vampire I’d bite you.
I can really suck the life out of you.
I want to suck your blood… and your toes.
Clean Vampire Jokes
You’re like the sun you’re so hot you make my blood boil.
What do vampires invest in? Bat Coin.
You have permission to enter me anytime.
Your eyes are like my skin, sparkles in the sun.
What do you call a gullible vampire? A sucker.
Want to find out what I turn into at midnight?
How can you tell if a vampire has a cold? He starts coffin!
How can you tell that a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What did the vampire say at the blood bank? I’d like to make a withdrawal
Vampire Joke Names
#Doctor Acula
#Vampire X
#Barbatos
#Nosferatu Zodd
#Beauregard
#Crimson Gallows
#Lara Raith
#Life Drainer
#Screaming Ghost
#Vespertilio
#Vicious Vivisectionist
#Ghoulish Gasper
#Fangs of Doom
#Heartstealer
#Bloody Bloater
#Blood Sipper
#Fangful Feeder
#Cain Gravesend
#Tristan Hexdoom
#Shrieking Devil
#Violent Vampire
#Croaking Wyvern
#Dahlia Vampmoor
#Moaning Wailing
#Cackling Demon
#Hissing Banshee
#Sneering Zombie
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